It is not the quality but the why we drink, how often etc you laid out a very clear picture of all the ways the “disease” of alcoholism convinces us we don’t have a problem. I have been sober for over two decades and I saw myself in your writing pre sobriety. You have alcoholism in your family and you are in healthcare. Drinking is a symptom of the deeper challenges we must all look at. Alcoholism is progressive and the slide down the rabbit hole is inevitable. Check out an AA meeting and see if you see yourself in others shares. Sending you support for clarity and acceptance 💕