I really appreciated this insight. Yes I have done exactly what you speak of. The withdrawal only acerbates the wound. I was famous for simply cutting people out of my life saying “ok now I see who you are” sometimes that is appropriate but other times it hurts me and doesn’t allow my fellow human to be “human” which in turn I am saying to myself “tow the line, be perfect, no interpersonal mistakes allowed. Case in point a recent friend that made a mountain out of a small request. She wrote a lengthy text prefaced with “you know I love you” but…I feel uncomfortable when you ask me for help. Hmmm definitely hers but mine yet a response is required for clarity and my boundaries. In the past I would just cut her off. She is someone I studied healing with (both students) for 10 years. Since we see each other occasionally she is not aware of how I have grown.
The text has been sitting in me and I have no need for that hence a response. Thx again