I have read many stories on Medium and to date have not posted the experiences that have shaped me and continue to do so. I was so deeply touched by your courage and honestly I too have often felt this way. I too tried to end my pain while under "copious amounts of alcohol" and did not succeed. I did not want to leave this way but when substances lie and convince us that there is no hope suicide seems like the best answer to the going problems; for a human life without a handbook. I am sober 30 years and sobriety has given me countless reasons to live and serve others. Sobriety is not a guarantee that life is cash prizes, unicorns and rainbows but allows the clarity to really feel what is unresolved. It is not the work for a few but for all of us whether accepted or not. Tonight the world is that much brighter because you are still here with us lighting the path for others with your truth! Thank you 💖🙏💖